Friday, September 16, 2011
This week started out pretty rough. We had plans to go on a trip. That got canceled rather abruptly. We had to rework our budget. That made me feel helpless. Robby has been waking up an extra time each night to eat. That made the nights short. Tim was having to go in extremely early and wasn't getting home until late. That made the days really long. I was tired. I was lonely. I cried more times than I could count. One day, I was just ready to give up. Throw in the towel. I questioned God as to why He would even think to give me another child to care for when I couldn't even handle the one I already had, plus manage our home, finances, and schedules. I love where we are living. I love my husband. I love my son. I love staying home. But all these things were causing me so much stress and frustration. I finally sat down and had to have a come to Jesus meeting with myself. I realized, through the tears, that this was the life we had chosen for ourselves, but more importantly, the one God had chosen for us. He knows what I can handle and what I can't. And He won't give me more than I can handle. God has given me everything I have ever prayed for, and I react by getting frustrated? How selfish I was being! After realizing these things, I decided that everything was going to be the way I made it. I am naturally a positive person and I needed to get back to that. I woke up Wednesday with a totally different attitude. I got up, got ready, got my sweet chattering boy out of his crib and got him ready so we could go to Costco. After that, we got to have lunch at home with Tim (something that happened in a week or so). Then we decided to go ahead and go on to the grocery store. Normally, I wouldn't tackle Costco and the grocery store in one day, but I decided to do it. I got home, tried a new recipe for dinner and enjoyed a wonderful evening with my husband. Thursday, Robby woke up at 4:30! Just a tad earlier than we like to start our days around here. :-) Instead of being huffy, like I had been the other mornings he did this, I went in, gathered up my smiling, sweet boy and brought him in the living room to play. (I put him in his pack n play and turned on Veggie Tales to distract him enough to be content with playing by himself because I was a bit too tired to keep up with a baby all over the place!) Once he was tired enough to go down for a brief nap, I jumped in the shower and got somewhat ready, then laid down for about 45 minutes to get a little power nap. Once Robby woke back up, I finished getting us both ready and we drove about 10 miles north to the newer, nicer, quieter Target to walk around and get a few things. Sometimes, just walking through Target changes my outlook for the day, as silly as that sounds! We got home, just in time for lunch with Tim. That afternoon we went up to the pharmacy for a little bit, ran to the BX, and then to the commissary for something I had forgotten the day before. By the time we were done with all that, Tim was coming home for the day. He actually got home around 5:30, which was very nice. He has been off today, which we both needed. We needed to relax and recharge. Things are quite crazy at work for him and he has a lot on his shoulders. Today, at the end of the week, I feel completely different than I did at the beginning of the week. I feel much more hopeful and positive. It's amazing how simply deciding to make an adjustment in my thinking has resulted in a refreshing outlook.