One year ago, at about this exact time, I took a pregnancy test, completely expecting it to come up negative. I couldn't be pregnant. I had a 7 month old. No one gets pregnant that quickly after having a baby. I remember exactly what I said as I watched the positive line show up almost immediately. "Tim Weigle, get in here!" He met me at the bathroom door, holding Robby, with a complete look of shock on his face. He knew. I didn't even have to say the words or show him the test. He knew. I sat down and cried. As ashamed as I am to say it, I was so disappointed. I wanted to focus on just Robby. I was looking forward to the fun toddler years with him. I imagined myself having to focus on a baby and him being in the corner playing by himself. It made me sad to think of that. Honestly, it took me several days to get over the initial shock and to start getting excited about the idea of another baby.
We had absolutely no idea how far along I was. The soonest appointment that I could get was two weeks away and we had so many questions. I had been taking birth control, lots of Motrin for severe headaches, and even took a couple of sleeping pills. I was concerned about the health of this baby. We counted back and guessed that I was about 8 weeks maybe. But even thinking that, I just knew we would go to the doctor and I would barely be 4 or 5 weeks along. By the time the appointment came along, I was beginning to get over the feeling of being in a dream that this was really going on, but then that crazy feeling of shock came back when the doctor told us we were 14 weeks along! My head started spinning. I started counting backwards. We got pregnant before Robby was even 4 months old. Then I started counting forward. They would be 13 months apart. How would we do this?
Well, we've done it for a year and I truly, honestly, cross-my-heartedly cannot imagine it any other way. While it's a bit tiring at times to be going through the same stages we feel we just got done going through, we feel extremely blessed to be given the opportunity to get to do this all over again. There are definitely days when I feel that if I have to change another poopy diaper I'm going to scream. Or if I get cereal sneezed on me again, I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Or if I hear another whine or cry from someone, I'm going to run away. But at the end of every single one of those days, I sit back and I think about the day and I remember the sweet, precious times. Like when I was cleaning the kitchen and looked up to see Robby stop what he was doing and run across the room to kiss Charlie on the head. Or when I turned around in the car to see catch Robby holding Charlie's hand as we were driving along. Or when Robby insisted on taking the spoon from me and feed Charlie. Both of them light up when they see each other. Robby already loves to share his toys with Charlie and looks for him as soon as he wakes up in the morning or from his nap. Charlie giggles and waves his arms when Robby comes over to him.
While our life is not what I pictured and it has not gone as I had planned, it's the most wonderful life and it's better than anything I could have imagined. Thankfully, God knew what He was doing when He wrote our life story and He didn't listen to my grand ideas for us. When I think of all the happiness we would have missed out on if things had gone as I "wanted", my breath is kind of taken away. Charlie brings us so much joy and brings out aspects of Robby that we would never have seen!
It's extremely hard to think that this picture was taken almost a year ago:
Their first sibling picture together!
Last night at bathtime
This afternoon while feeding Charlie his cereal!