Monday, November 21, 2011

Forgetfulness, falling, and exhaustion - OH MY!

This pregnancy is kicking my hiney!  I had some great energy for about 2 weeks a little bit ago, but now I'm back to complete exhaustion.  It's the kind of exhaustion where I physically cannot pick up Robby at times.  My arms just don't have any strength left in them.  Usually, I can make it to the time when Tim gets home, but once he's here, I'm done for the day.  Thankfully, he looks forward to coming home to play with Robby all day so he doesn't mind.  I'm able to generally pick up the apartment, but haven't done any really deep cleaning in a while.  I have actually been trying to lay down or nap when Robby is napping.  I never did that when Robby was first born.  I just wasn't tired and I wanted to jump back into our routine and get things done.  But right now I just can't do it.  I told Tim last night that I feel bad because I'm shortchanging Robby right now.  We could be going to the park or getting out and doing things, but there are times I can't even climb up the stairs with him and the diaper bag so getting out just isn't feasible.  

Speaking of those pesky stairs, I've fallen twice now.  The first time, I had gone to Costco and we were back home.  I put Robby down for his nap in his crib and ran downstairs to get the cold things out of the car.  I had a few reusable shopping bags over my shoulders and was carrying a box with several other things.  I was on the last set of stairs when my foot caught one of the steps, my shoe separated from the sole and got kind of stuck under the step.  I tripped up the stairs, but thankfully didn't hurt myself or drop anything.  Then last Friday night while Tim was working, I went to return something and was coming back.  I was just carrying Robby and diaper bag but couldn't see where my feet were, I guess, and I tripped over the curb in front of our building.  This time I fell all the way to the ground, landing on my knees first then my left elbow.  The whole time all I could think about was keeping Robby up and making sure he didn't hit the ground.  Thankfully, he didn't.  I messed up my jeans, hurt my knees and elbow a little, messed up one of my fingers, and twisted my back.  None of those were serious at all.  My back was the most painful thing, but towards the end of the weekend it was feeling better.  I'm not one who is very graceful. I fell every single day of the 1st grade.  No joke.  Whether recess was inside or outside, I would fall and hurt myself.  It was about that same time range when I fell down the long row of steps at the Shepherd of the Hills outdoor theater.  I spilled my popcorn and that was what I was most upset about.  Also, when I was in the 7th grade, I took quite a major fall down a rocky hill at my school.  It was in front of a guy I had a crush on, so it was pretty humiliating.  In my adult life, I've had some close calls, but haven't actually had any real falls.  So it's frustrating to me to be falling so much now!  My clumsiness is much worse!

Not only am I more clumsy, but I'm much more forgetful.  I had a few cases of "pregnancy brain" with Robby, but this time around it's crazy how bad it is.  I have forgotten my address (twice), the gate code to get into our complex (I actually had to look through my texts to see what I had texted someone it was last week in order to know what it was), Tim's social security number because I forgot my ID and couldn't get on base, the name of AND how to get to my doctor's office WHILE I was on my way to my appointment (I couldn't get in touch with Tim to find out the name so I had to call a friend who had just had a baby and used the same doctor.  I'm sure she thought I was quite crazy), and generally what I'm doing and where I'm going.  Tim just looks at me sometimes in disbelief that I actually can't remember whatever it is.  Last night I told Tim that I needed to take Robby this week to get his second dose of the flu vaccine.  He then reminded me that we had already done that on Friday.  Oh ya!  I'm so glad I didn't go to the clinic and wait in line to get that done only to find out I had just done it last week.    I've also had a few episodes of leaving without my car keys (which is very frustrating because I realize it when I get down to the car with Robby and all our stuff then have to go all the way back up to get them and then go back down again!) or debit card/cash.  Very frustrating, to say the least.  I'm beginning to worry about myself!

Physically, I feel like I'm about 35 weeks along, instead of 25 weeks.  I already can't bend over to paint my toenails or put lotion on my feet.  It's incredibly difficult to bend down to pick things up and I definitely have the waddle already going on!  This is hard for me because I felt so good and so beautiful when I was pregnant with Robby.  Now I just hurt all the time and feel like quite the blimp.  Sadly, I'm wishing it was over and Charlie was here already.  It is sad that there wasn't more time between these pregnancies so I could actually enjoy it again this time around.  I loved being pregnant with Robby and this time I feel like I have the typical pregnant woman's attitude that I didn't have the first time around.  Anyway, I know the next 12 or so weeks will fly by (or at least I'm praying they will) and Charlie will be here and we will begin the process of adjusting to the new "normal"!


Catie said...

Hang in there!!! Sorry things have been a little rough! I know you are a good mommy to Robby, don't feel bad about any of that!

Anonymous said...

Don't feel guilty! You are most definitely NOT short-changing that boy! He's the happiest, most loved little boy! You're a great mom! And you're beautiful!

Remember when I removed my face on the sidewalk my second day of school? Just don't do anything like that, okay?