Mama just needed a little break!

This past Saturday, I had a bit of a breakdown.  I was exhausted and truly just tired of being needed.  I needed a little bit of time just to myself.  I was at the point that just a leisurely trip to the grocery store by myself wasn't going to cut it.  I needed silence and sleep.

So Sunday after church, Tim checked me in to a hotel about 45 minutes away from home and I got to have a 24 hour getaway by myself!  I went to my room and was greeted with this in the bathroom:

I changed in to my swimsuit and headed down to the pool.  I laid out for about 2 hours.  During that time, I fell asleep at least twice!  It was amazing!

After that, I showered, did a face mask, plucked my eyebrows, and tried new hairstyles I had seen on Pinterest.  I ate sushi for dinner and went to bed at 7:30!  

I woke up about 9 the next morning, ate breakfast, got ready then began heading back home.  It was wonderful to get several more hours of sleep, spend a little extra time getting ready, and do everything at a leisurely pace without anyone tugging on me!  

Tim said he could tell a difference as soon as I walked in the door.  I could definitely tell that i was refreshed and could handle the things that normally stressed me out with a little more grace and patience!  

I told him that I might need to do something like that every 6 weeks or so.  After all, for the price of an "Oh, I just need a few things" trip to Target, I got an experience that is allowing me to be a better, more attentive mom and wife!  I definitely recommend a night away for all of you tired, frustrated mommies!

I'm branchin' out, y'all!

Yesterday, we had a date day for our anniversary. Kathy, Tim's sister, took care of the boys so we could have some time out and about. We went to the Quarry. We did a little shopping, mainly places I couldn't maneuver with the boys by myself but have been needing to go. We went to a sushi place for lunch. Tim doesn't like fish of any kind so we never go to sushi places. But Tim knows I enjoy it, so he insisted we go. He just ordered a non-fish dish and I was able to have a wonderful roll. I'm not sure if I appreciated the sushi more or the quiet atmosphere without having to worry about anyone throwing all their food on the floor. Tim was on his best behavior! :-) After lunch we went to the movies and finally saw the Avengers. Once the movie was over, we went to the fancy grocery store to pick out some fun goodies. Quite the romantic date, huh?

All that's fun and all, but let's talk about what I wore! I decided I wanted to wear something that I have had in my closet for over a year but have never worn before. Mainly because the material is not a toddler-wrestling, baby-drooling, diaper-might-be-leaking-friendly material. Along with this dress that I had never worn before, I incorporated two styles that have been around forever but I haven't tried yet: leggings and a wide belt. I felt so uncomfortable at first because it was new to me so I was afraid I looked like someone who was trying to look somewhat trendy. Tim just told me to own it and be confident. So, I did...or at least I tried! :-)

So here's my outfit:

Ignore my weird arm in the one picture. I was trying to decide if I wanted to go hand on the hip or not and ended up getting the picture mid change!

I still have about 10 pounds or so of baby weight to lose and a ton of toning to do, so of course that's what I see when I look at these pictures, but I also felt cute and it is causing me to think through my outfits a little differently. Tim has always told me that my confidence, or lack thereof, can make or break an outfit. Maybe more than incorporating new trends I should work on incorporating a little more confidence in my outfits!

Maybe this isn't for me...

My entire life if anyone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, my response was to be a wife and a mother.  I couldn't wait to get to that point in my life and was ecstatic when the time came for me to be a stay-at-home mom.  In case anyone out there is wondering, it's not a glamorous job.  But I've always known this was my calling.  Until this week...

This week was rough.  Like the kind of rough where I was wiping kitchen counters or changing diapers or cutting chicken nuggets or feeding a bottle and just crying uncontrollably.  Robby would just walk around the house whining.  Nothing was wrong with him, he just whined to hear himself whine.  Talk about grating on your nerves!  Then Charlie decided that if he wasn't being held upright, being fed, or asleep he was just going to scream.  The boys napped, but never at the same time and not for very long.   So, I couldn't get anything done and thought I was going to lose my mind.  It was so bad, Tim had to come home Friday for a little bit to help me because I truly did not think I was going to make it through the day.  As I was holding a screaming baby and trying to keep a toddler from throwing all his food on the floor to the dog, I actually asked God why He had chosen me to be a mom.  Maybe I'm not cut out for this "job".  Maybe He made a mistake giving me two boys, especially this close in age.  Maybe I wasn't really called to do this.  Tim got home every evening to a frazzled wife who was begging for help with the boys and no clue what to put on the table for dinner!  I hate feeling out of control, and this week I was, both emotionally and physically.

I dreaded this weekend because Tim was going to be gone.  I didn't know how I would survive not having any help or relief at the end of the day with them acting like this.  He left yesterday morning and from the time he left, things have gone well.  Robby has played happily with all of his toys.  He is using more and more words so it's easier to understand what he's wanting, which leads to less and less whining!  Charlie took a 2.5 hour nap yesterday morning in his crib, then Robby took a 3.5 hour nap yesterday afternoon!  Their naps didn't overlap, which is usually a saving grace for me during the day, but yesterday it was actually a blessing.  Robby and I played with his puzzles and animals while Charlie napped in the morning.  That was the first lengthy bit of time I've had just one on one with him since before Charlie was born.  In the afternoon, I was able to just hold and love on Charlie.  It brought back those sweet memories when Robby was a baby and nothing else was taking my attention from him.  Charlie was content, full of smiles and coos for me.  For dinner, Robby and I split Chick-fil-a and not a single bit of it ended up on the floor!  :-)  Bath time and bedtime happened and when I sat down on the couch, it clicked with me what this weekend was: confirmation.  Confirmation that I AM cut out for this.  Confirmation that He didn't make a mistake with His plan.  Confirmation that I AM called to do this.

Some of the best advice that several of my "been there, done that" mom friends told me when I first had Robby and that I try to tell new moms as well is that everything is a phase.  The crying newborn?  A phase.  The sleeping problems?  A phase.  The teething?  A phase.  The not obeying?  A phase.  The constant whining?  A phase.  It helps to be able to get through weeks like last week when I remember that.  But you know what else is a phase?

The sleeping cuddles

The gummy smiles

The post-bath snuggles

The times when the world stops and nothing else matters

All of it.  As a mom, I have to remember that I have to take the good with the bad and remember that it all comes together to make up each of my boys' childhoods.  The phases turn into a lifetime.

My heart is full

I'm so ready for this baby to be born. It's just not even funny! My doctor has said since pretty much the beginning that I would have him at about 38.5 weeks. Today, I'm at 38 weeks. I have an appointment tomorrow. Last week I hadn't progressed anymore and I left very frustrated. I'm praying for good news tomorrow.

But...

My heart could not be more full than it is tonight. Robby played in the backyard for the first time tonight. Tim and I went out with him, stood there and watched him walk all around, bend over and pick up leaves, and step up and down off of the patio. At one point , I sat down on a chair on the patio and watched as my boys walked around and explored. I sat and I cried. This is one of the last evenings just us. Things are about to get crazy and probably overwhelming very soon. Tonight was peaceful. My sweet baby boy's face lit up every time he looked down and saw another leaf or blade of grass. That preciousness was just so overwhelming. Tim and I stood in the middle of the yard. I backed up and leaned up against him. He put his arms around me, resting his hands on my belly. That love was too much for me. I don't deserve this beautiful, wonderful life we have. I don't deserve the husband I have who loves to come home to me every night. I don't deserve the perfect little boy who has been nothing but a blessing since the day he was born. I don't deserve this second little boy who completely changed what I thought our lives would be like. Why God has chosen me to be a steward of all these blessings, I will never understand, but I'm grateful.

And my heart is full.

Forgetfulness, falling, and exhaustion - OH MY!

This pregnancy is kicking my hiney!  I had some great energy for about 2 weeks a little bit ago, but now I'm back to complete exhaustion.  It's the kind of exhaustion where I physically cannot pick up Robby at times.  My arms just don't have any strength left in them.  Usually, I can make it to the time when Tim gets home, but once he's here, I'm done for the day.  Thankfully, he looks forward to coming home to play with Robby all day so he doesn't mind.  I'm able to generally pick up the apartment, but haven't done any really deep cleaning in a while.  I have actually been trying to lay down or nap when Robby is napping.  I never did that when Robby was first born.  I just wasn't tired and I wanted to jump back into our routine and get things done.  But right now I just can't do it.  I told Tim last night that I feel bad because I'm shortchanging Robby right now.  We could be going to the park or getting out and doing things, but there are times I can't even climb up the stairs with him and the diaper bag so getting out just isn't feasible.  

Speaking of those pesky stairs, I've fallen twice now.  The first time, I had gone to Costco and we were back home.  I put Robby down for his nap in his crib and ran downstairs to get the cold things out of the car.  I had a few reusable shopping bags over my shoulders and was carrying a box with several other things.  I was on the last set of stairs when my foot caught one of the steps, my shoe separated from the sole and got kind of stuck under the step.  I tripped up the stairs, but thankfully didn't hurt myself or drop anything.  Then last Friday night while Tim was working, I went to return something and was coming back.  I was just carrying Robby and diaper bag but couldn't see where my feet were, I guess, and I tripped over the curb in front of our building.  This time I fell all the way to the ground, landing on my knees first then my left elbow.  The whole time all I could think about was keeping Robby up and making sure he didn't hit the ground.  Thankfully, he didn't.  I messed up my jeans, hurt my knees and elbow a little, messed up one of my fingers, and twisted my back.  None of those were serious at all.  My back was the most painful thing, but towards the end of the weekend it was feeling better.  I'm not one who is very graceful. I fell every single day of the 1st grade.  No joke.  Whether recess was inside or outside, I would fall and hurt myself.  It was about that same time range when I fell down the long row of steps at the Shepherd of the Hills outdoor theater.  I spilled my popcorn and that was what I was most upset about.  Also, when I was in the 7th grade, I took quite a major fall down a rocky hill at my school.  It was in front of a guy I had a crush on, so it was pretty humiliating.  In my adult life, I've had some close calls, but haven't actually had any real falls.  So it's frustrating to me to be falling so much now!  My clumsiness is much worse!

Not only am I more clumsy, but I'm much more forgetful.  I had a few cases of "pregnancy brain" with Robby, but this time around it's crazy how bad it is.  I have forgotten my address (twice), the gate code to get into our complex (I actually had to look through my texts to see what I had texted someone it was last week in order to know what it was), Tim's social security number because I forgot my ID and couldn't get on base, the name of AND how to get to my doctor's office WHILE I was on my way to my appointment (I couldn't get in touch with Tim to find out the name so I had to call a friend who had just had a baby and used the same doctor.  I'm sure she thought I was quite crazy), and generally what I'm doing and where I'm going.  Tim just looks at me sometimes in disbelief that I actually can't remember whatever it is.  Last night I told Tim that I needed to take Robby this week to get his second dose of the flu vaccine.  He then reminded me that we had already done that on Friday.  Oh ya!  I'm so glad I didn't go to the clinic and wait in line to get that done only to find out I had just done it last week.    I've also had a few episodes of leaving without my car keys (which is very frustrating because I realize it when I get down to the car with Robby and all our stuff then have to go all the way back up to get them and then go back down again!) or debit card/cash.  Very frustrating, to say the least.  I'm beginning to worry about myself!

Physically, I feel like I'm about 35 weeks along, instead of 25 weeks.  I already can't bend over to paint my toenails or put lotion on my feet.  It's incredibly difficult to bend down to pick things up and I definitely have the waddle already going on!  This is hard for me because I felt so good and so beautiful when I was pregnant with Robby.  Now I just hurt all the time and feel like quite the blimp.  Sadly, I'm wishing it was over and Charlie was here already.  It is sad that there wasn't more time between these pregnancies so I could actually enjoy it again this time around.  I loved being pregnant with Robby and this time I feel like I have the typical pregnant woman's attitude that I didn't have the first time around.  Anyway, I know the next 12 or so weeks will fly by (or at least I'm praying they will) and Charlie will be here and we will begin the process of adjusting to the new "normal"!

Anxiety

A very close friend and I were texting back and forth this morning about worries we have.  What started the conversation was we had both read an extremely sad story of a 4 month old in a tragic accident.  She mentioned that she has had to stop reading some blogs because the stories of lost pregnancies and death of babies were just to overwhelming.  When I was pregnant. there were certain blogs Tim told me I could no longer read because I was getting too upset about it all.  When we first had Robby, I was paranoid that he would just stop breathing.  This wasn't just something that I worried about with Robby.  Every time I would babysit babies, even as a teenager, I would go in every 15 minutes or so as the baby was sleeping to make sure they were still breathing.  It is a paralyzing fear that I have.  With Robby, I was to the point where I would end up waking him up because I would rustle him if I couldn't hear him breathing.  So, Tim took over the "check on Robby to make sure he's breathing" ritual every night.  Now I don't worry about it quite so much.  Sometimes, if he has napped an extremely long time or is sleeping in pretty late during the morning, my mind will start to wander to the fear of something having happened to him.  But I'm doing better.  I used to lay awake at night and just worry that he wasn't breathing.  I finally just had to turn it over to the Lord.  I would fall asleep praying that God would keep my baby alive through the night.  I don't know if that's weird or not, but that's the only way I could find comfort.

At this point, I don't overly worry too much about Robby.  There are still times that my mind will go to those worst case scenarios, but the times that it happens are much fewer.  Unfortunately, now there is a new worry that I have.  Pretty much every night as we lay in bed, I tell Tim that I'm worried something might be wrong with this baby.  I have only felt the baby move maybe 3 times, and I thought I should be feeling it more at this point.  Also, we didn't actually hear the heartbeat at the last appointment.  We only saw it on the screen.  While that should have been enough, I feel that since I didn't actually hear it and the dr didn't give me a beats/minute, something might be wrong.  I worry because I was taking such high doses of ibuprofen, birth control, a muscle relaxer and sleeping pill, not to mention that I hadn't taken prenatal vitamins during almost the entire first trimester!  Tim looked up the medications I was taking and there is practically no harm in them, they just aren't recommended to take when pregnant because there are many unknowns.  I know that I am still relatively early on in the pregnancy and I won't really be able to experience predictable movements for a while, but I just can't shake that fear that I've been having.  I'm hoping that after my appointment in a few weeks and get to see this sweet baby again, hear the heartbeat, and learn that all the organs look good that I will feel better.  Until then, I will continue to fall asleep at night praying that both of my babies stay safe and healthy.

Attitude Adjustment

This week started out pretty rough.  We had plans to go on a trip.  That got canceled rather abruptly.  We had to rework our budget.  That made me feel helpless.  Robby has been waking up an extra time each night to eat.  That made the nights short.  Tim was having to go in extremely early and wasn't getting home until late.  That made the days really long.  I was tired.  I was lonely.  I cried more times than I could count.  One day, I was just ready to give up.  Throw in the towel.  I questioned God as to why He would even think to give me another child to care for when I couldn't even handle the one I already had, plus manage our home, finances, and schedules.  I love where we are living.  I love my husband.  I love my son.  I love staying home.  But all these things were causing me so much stress and frustration.  I finally sat down and had to have a come to Jesus meeting with myself.  I realized, through the tears, that this was the life we had chosen for ourselves, but more importantly, the one God had chosen for us.  He knows what I can handle and what I can't.  And He won't give me more than I can handle.  God has given me everything I have ever prayed for, and I react by getting frustrated?  How selfish I was being!  After realizing these things, I decided that everything was going to be the way I made it.  I am naturally a positive person and I needed to get back to that.  I woke up Wednesday with a totally different attitude.  I got up, got ready, got my sweet chattering boy out of his crib and got him ready so we could go to Costco.  After that, we got to have lunch at home with Tim (something that happened in a week or so).  Then we decided to go ahead and go on to the grocery store.  Normally, I wouldn't tackle Costco and the grocery store in one day, but I decided to do it.  I got home, tried a new recipe for dinner and enjoyed a wonderful evening with my husband.  Thursday, Robby woke up at 4:30!  Just a tad earlier than we like to start our days around here.  :-)  Instead of being huffy, like I had been the other mornings he did this, I went in, gathered up my smiling, sweet boy and brought him in the living room to play.  (I put him in his pack n play and turned on Veggie Tales to distract him enough to be content with playing by himself because I was a bit too tired to keep up with a baby all over the place!)  Once he was tired enough to go down for a brief nap, I jumped in the shower and got somewhat ready, then laid down for about 45 minutes to get a little power nap.  Once Robby woke back up, I finished getting us both ready and we drove about 10 miles north to the newer, nicer, quieter Target to walk around and get a few things.  Sometimes, just walking through Target changes my outlook for the day, as silly as that sounds!  We got home, just in time for lunch with Tim.  That afternoon we went up to the pharmacy for a little bit, ran to the BX, and then to the commissary for something I had forgotten the day before.  By the time we were done with all that, Tim was coming home for the day.  He actually got home around 5:30, which was very nice.  He has been off today, which we both needed.  We needed to relax and recharge.  Things are quite crazy at work for him and he has a lot on his shoulders.  Today, at the end of the week, I feel completely different than I did at the beginning of the week.  I feel much more hopeful and positive.  It's amazing how simply deciding to make an adjustment in my thinking has resulted in a refreshing outlook.

All About Me From A to Z

Catie tagged me to take this survey.  I don't normally participate in them, but I love reading others.  So it's probably a good thing she tagged me so I feel obligated to do it!  I should finally participate after observing so much!


So here we go:
{a} age: 27, I have to ask Tim all the time how old I am
{b} bed size: queen
{c} chore you hate: I absolutely hate any outside chores.
{d} dogs: we have 2- Leo is a lab mix, and is currently staying at Tim's parent's since we are in the apartment; Annie is a red, (supposedly) miniature dachshund.  They were definitely our babies before Robby got here!
{e} essential start to your day: Ummm, it would be too cheesy if I said seeing Robby smile, wouldn't it?  
{f} favorite color: Purple
{g} gold or silver: Silver
{h} height: 5'3” (thank goodness "w" isn't "weight")
{i} instruments you play: none
{j} job title: Wife and stay-at-home mom
{k} kids: Robby, born January 14, and Baby Weigle, due March 2012
{l} live: Schertz, TX (northeastern San Antonio
{m} main article of clothing: Jeans.  I try to wear interesting tops (I usually fail) because Tim got onto me a while back for only wearing solid colored, crew neck t-shirts!
{n} nicknames: My family calls me "Ranj"
{o} overnight hospital stays: A few nights for tests to be run when I was 15 and then when I had Robby.
{p} pet peeve: People who don't actually listen, unfortunately, I am guilty of this at times as well.
{q} quote: Umm, don't really have one.
{r} righty or lefty: Lefty
{s} siblings: An older brother, Ryan
{t} time you wake up: Usually between 7-8, unless Robby is really sleeping in.  It's funny, I used to wake up at 5am to work out for an hour before I got ready for work.  Now, 5 seems obscene!
{u} university attended: John Brown University!  
{v} vegetables you dislike: I dislike uncooked onions and I'm not a fan of bell peppers
{w} what makes you run late: My sweet, wonderful husband!  Although he is doing much better since joining the AF.  We are rarely late now.
{x} x-rays: I guess just dental
{y} yummy food: Mexican food!!  Along with sooo many others!
{z} zoo animal: Elephant


I'm going to tag Kristy, Sarah, and Silvy!

Accent Vlog

Okay, I decided to join in on the accent vlogs.  I have spent my internet time today watching everyone else's so I thought I should do one also.

A few things about this vlog:

1. I do think Tim says some words differently and his answers were kind of different on a couple of questions, but I really wanted him to do it with me because I felt silly doing it by myself.

2. I am squatting up against the wall to be at the right level where you couldn't see up my nose, which is why I keep shifting.

3. Where am I looking??  I never once looked at the actual camera!

4. I think I look better mirror imaged than I do in real life.  Is there a surgery that can do that for me?

5. I am tired and hadn't washed my hair...I'm sorry!

6. I recorded this in photo booth, but at first forgot to switch it over to video from camera.  So this is what our vlog started as:

7. I end it by saying "You guys" after I answered that I say "Y'all"!  I never say "you guys" so I don't know what possessed me to say it right then!  Haha!!

Enjoy!

The instructions are to say these words: 
Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

And answer these questions: 

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?

What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?

What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call gym shoes?

What do you say to address a group of people?

What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?

What do you call your grandparents?

What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?

What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?

What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

5 years!

Tim and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary on June 10th.  Some friends of ours kept Robby so we could go out to eat.  We went to Ruth's Chris in downtown San Antonio, thanks to a gift card!

Stronger

*First, let me say the reason I didn't keep up with the blog postings everyday is because the internet in Tim's room wasn't reliable and he couldn't see the pictures or the videos.  So instead I texted him pictures and was able to talk to him enough to fill him in on our daily goings on.*

With Tim having been gone for 5 weeks it gave me time to find out more about myself.  I've never been "on my own".  I lived at home for 18 years, went to college, started dating Tim, got married, moved away, and had a baby.  None of that was done on my own.  I am not an independent person.  I rely on Tim for almost everything.  He is my emotional support.  He is my idea-bouncer-offer.  He makes our decisions.  He makes the money.  He is my everything.  My everything was gone for an entire 5 weeks.

I found out in that 5 weeks that I am strong.  I can do things I never thought I could.  I am able to find my way around a new city.  I am able to take care of a baby without any help.  I am able to set up a new home.  I am able to drive 2 12 hour trips, a 10 hour trip, and a 3 hour trip all with an infant.  I am able to juggle a baby in a carrier, 7 bags of groceries, a diaper bag, a diet coke, and the mail all up 3 flights of stairs.  I am able to fly all by myself with a baby, handle a layover during nap time, rent a car and drive 2 hours.  I can do it and I DID do it.  I didn't do it without shedding any tears, but I did it.

Something that I didn't realize would happen was the peace and assurance Tim felt when he found out I could handle it on my own.  He can see the difference in me.  I'm not scared.  I don't ask for as much help.  I don't get as overwhelmed.  I am a different woman.  A stronger woman.  It's a good thing I discovered this early on because as a military wife, this will not be the only time I will have to do this and, chances are, this was the shortest period of time I will have to do it.  But Tim can now leave when he is called and know that I can handle the task of running our home and our family while he's gone.

All that being said, I'm glad my everything is back home!

Love!

He's here!!

Robert William Weigle arrived at 2:07am on 1/14/11.
He weighed 6lbs 15 oz and was 20.5 inches long!

We will post pictures sometime in the next several hours!

Hair Fiasco Update

First of all, thank you all for your kind words in response to my hair trauma.  I agree that the hair color isn't bad, I just don't like it on myself.  I wish that I would have just left well enough alone and maybe just gotten my roots touched up instead of going for such a drastic change.

Thanks to some wonderful friends who provided me with advice via facebook and a few google searches, the color is beginning to lighten ever so slightly.  Unfortunately, it's mainly lightening underneath, so the top is still pretty much the same.  I kind of look like a big mess, to be honest with you!  I'm planning on going back to the girl next week and getting some highlights throughout to just break up the color and give it an overall lighter look.  I just find it funny that the color I described to her was "light brown" and I left the salon with practically black hair.  I'm not sure where the miscommunication occurred, but clearly it did occur!  Thanks to Sarah and her mother-in-law's advice I am going to be able to go in and give her an exact description of what I want in order to get the color as fixed as possible.  

On a different note, we have discovered we have a mouse.  Yes, a mouse.  He is quite the hungry creature and works very quickly as he already got into some items we have only had for a couple of days.  I've cleaned out the cabinet where we keep most of our food and there were no signs of the little critter so he's only interested in the bowl we keep on the counter top with our "grab and go" foods as well as our chips.  I'm pretty sure he ran across the dining room/office today because Leo suddenly ran into the room and was looking under Tim's desk and around the filing cabinet quite frantically.  Needless to say, our project this weekend is going to include some mouse traps, plastic containers, and hopefully a very dead mouse.  Any recommendations on the best type of trap to get this little guy?

I won't be leaving the house today...

I do things on a whim.  I think that I think things through completely but I really don't.  Let me explain:

Since we aren't going to AR for Thanksgiving and I won't be going back until after Robby is born, I can't go to my normal hair girl.  By the time I could get to her I would have 3 inch roots showing and they probably wouldn't let my baby go home with me from the hospital due to my extreme homely look.  Since my roots were already showing pretty good, I decided I would go to a salon that was listed as the best in Amarillo (seriously, why do I even take that as meaning anything?  Every time we go by that our experience ends up being horrible!).  Anyways, I told the girl I just wanted to go back to my natural color and I even took her a picture to show her.  I left the salon with almost black hair.  No joke.  I look like a witch.  I managed to not cry about it until Tim got home and his mouth dropped as he looked at me.  In his defense, I didn't tell him I was going that day to get it done, so it was a complete shock.  It looks more brown in the natural sunlight, but in the house with the curtains closed, it's almost black.  Not a good look for me.  I'm currently researching home remedies for lightening semi-permanent hair color.  If you have any tips please pass them along!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put newspaper over all the mirrors in our house so I don't scream when I catch a glimpse of my reflection.

Homecoming!

Last weekend, we headed up to Northwest Arkansas for the JBU homecoming.  We didn't end up doing anything homecoming related on the campus, but we were able to see and spend time with great friends.  It's been pretty tough on both of us the past couple of months because we don't have any friends in town, so it was really nice to see people we love to be around. Here are some pictures from our weekend, ironically, none with our friends!

Headed out on Brutus's first road trip

Annie wondering why she has been banished to the backseat

In front of the Cathedral where we were married

At the tree where Tim proposed

Tim's old dorm.  It still smells the same!

Allow me to introduce Brutus!

Yesterday, we did something we have been planning for a few years now.  We got rid of my car (which was having more and more wrong with it with each passing day!) and got a new more family friendly vehicle.  By family friendly, I mean easy for me to get a stroller out of, lift a car seat out of, and can fit a car seat plus 6 adults for when family comes to visit!  I am so thrilled and am having a hard time believing it's really mine!  Here are some pictures of Brutus the 4Runner!

21 years ago

Life as I knew it changed forever.

My papaw died.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  Ryan and I sat down on the floor as my dad sat in his recliner and said he had something to tell us.  I had never seen my dad cry until that day and I've only seen him cry 2 times since then.  I often talk about Papaw and think about how proud he would be of all his grandchildren, half of which he never had the chance to meet.  I think about how excited he would be to have a great grandson and another on the way.  I think of how happy he would be at how much each of us has accomplished.  I wish he and Tim could have met each other and maybe smoked pipes together while discussing life.  I would have loved for him to make baby Robby's furniture for the nursery.  He was an amazing man, with amazing stories.  He was quick to admit the mistakes he had made in his life.  As soon as I would walk in their house, I would go into the den and take my place on his lap.  I would touch the tattoo on his forearm and ask him about it.  "That was when I was young and dumb", he would tell me.  When Ryan and I spent the night at Granny and Papaw's house, Ryan slept on the floor next to Granny's side of the bed and I would sleep on the floor next to Papaw's side of the bed.  We would look over at each other under the bed, giggle and whisper.  After a few minutes of that,  Papaw would would tell us, "Time to quiet it down now".  He told great stories and acted like we were the most important people in the world.

He loved his grandchildren, his daughters, his son-in-laws, and his wife so much.

I miss him.