Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My heart is full

I'm so ready for this baby to be born. It's just not even funny! My doctor has said since pretty much the beginning that I would have him at about 38.5 weeks. Today, I'm at 38 weeks. I have an appointment tomorrow. Last week I hadn't progressed anymore and I left very frustrated. I'm praying for good news tomorrow.

But...

My heart could not be more full than it is tonight. Robby played in the backyard for the first time tonight. Tim and I went out with him, stood there and watched him walk all around, bend over and pick up leaves, and step up and down off of the patio. At one point , I sat down on a chair on the patio and watched as my boys walked around and explored. I sat and I cried. This is one of the last evenings just us. Things are about to get crazy and probably overwhelming very soon. Tonight was peaceful. My sweet baby boy's face lit up every time he looked down and saw another leaf or blade of grass. That preciousness was just so overwhelming. Tim and I stood in the middle of the yard. I backed up and leaned up against him. He put his arms around me, resting his hands on my belly. That love was too much for me. I don't deserve this beautiful, wonderful life we have. I don't deserve the husband I have who loves to come home to me every night. I don't deserve the perfect little boy who has been nothing but a blessing since the day he was born. I don't deserve this second little boy who completely changed what I thought our lives would be like. Why God has chosen me to be a steward of all these blessings, I will never understand, but I'm grateful.

And my heart is full.

5 comments:

Katie said...

And ... this made me cry. Love you, sweet friend. Relish these moments!

Gloria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gloria said...

Made me cry too. Thank you for sharing. Knowing makes my heart full too.

Emily Tyler said...

Randi, so precious. Love you and your so very sweet family. Can't wait to hold little Charlie!

Catie said...

I know how you feel, and this brought tears to my eyes. We really are blessed :)